Rules of the Internet [Q.-300]

I finally got my hands on the official Rules of the Internet.....which means.....the chaos has been DOUBLED!!!!
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Q. Stacy's Mom has got it going on. No exceptions.

∞. In the event that the universe becomes so immense, it will collapse in on itself, causing disruption in the time-space continuum, unraveling time from the beginning, and eventually deleting the past, present, and future. No exceptions.

◘. [rulesoftheinternet.com/index.p… Everybody gets a page!

¬. Do not Heil Hitler, unless you want to.

~.~ But above all else you must remember that this is the internet, and there are no rules.

18/0. Memory access violation. This rule is a virus or programmed by a retard.

ƒƒƒƒƒ. ˙pɹɐʇǝɹ ɐ ǝɹɐ noʎ 'uʍop ǝpısdn sı ʇxǝʇ ɹnoʎ ɟI

ƒƒƒƒ. Uncyclopedia is never wrong, NO EXCEPTIONS, fuck it.

ƒƒƒ. None of these rules really matter, except for the ones that do.

ƒƒƒ.2. The ones that matter are 1, 2, 34, 34∞, 63, 93, 406, 899 and ∞34.

ƒƒƒ.3. Except for 34∞. It's terrible.

ƒƒ. Rule 0 is not not not not not untruthful.

ƒ. AFH is still g0d of the internet

Þ. Attempting to get more users will result in loads of fun. No Exceptions.

i². Welcome Back.

3i. am in need of assistance.

2i. The end is coming. We shall rule all.

i. You can't the square root of a negative integer.

-5. Cake and justice will be served.

-4. The internet has no rules, no exceptions.

-3. If you are srs, everyone is srs. No exceptions.

-2 1/2. Never cuss any Canadians.

-2. You won the game.

-1. /b/ is not your friend. No exceptions.

0. Negative Numbers are a Lie. No exceptions.

0.0000000001. Nipples are always Sweden.

0.000000001. Percentage of clever comments in YouTube.

1/2. Everyone is masturbating with their other hand. No exceptions.

50/50. If you give a human civilization a whole, they will cut it in half. No exceptions.

.1. If you made a rule extension with .2 instead of .1 when there is no .1, you need to math better.

0.96. P30P13 WH0 U53 1337 5P34K 4R3 N07 1337.

0.97. VVVVVV is the best gravity game. No exceptions.

1. Do not talk about /b/.

1.618. (Viewing this message requires 4Chan Gold)

2. You do NOT talk about /b/.

2.2. Remember 2nd place.

2.3. Damn it! I missed...

2.4. AGAIN?! WHAT THE FUCK!

e. Roflcopter makes you look like a n00b.

e.2. To the power of negative X over lambda.

3. We are Anonymous.

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399573105.... Expect us.

4. Anonymous is legion.

5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.

6. Anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.

6.241592653589793238462643383279502888394338799146210... Didn't expect them!

7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.

8. There are no real rules about posting.

9. Always register with your local service provider.

⑨. There is a Touhou version, no exceptions.

10. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON'T.

11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored.

12. Anything you say can and will be used against you.

13. Anything you say can be turned into something else. - fixed

14. Do not argue with trolls — it means that they win.

15. The harder you try, the harder you will fail.

16. If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure.

17. Every win fails eventually.

18. Everything that can be labeled, can be hated.

19. The more you hate it, the stronger it gets.

20. Nothing is to be taken seriously.

20.2. Because nothing is a serious matter. Everything else isn't. No exceptions.

20.3. Except for rule 2719hex.

21. Original content is original only for a few seconds before getting old.

22. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.

23. Copy 'n paste is made to ruin every last bit of originality.

24. Every repost is always a repost of a repost.

25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post.

26. Any topic can be turned into something totally unrelated.

27. Always question a person's sexual preferences without any real reason.

28. Always question a person's gender - just in case it's really a man.

29. On the internet, all girls are men, and all kids are undercover FBI agents or Perverted Justice Decoys.

30. There are NO girls on the internet.

31. TITS or GTFO - the choice is yours.

32. You must have pictures to prove your statements.

33. Lurk moar — it's never enough.

34. There is porn of it, no exceptions.

34.2. There are ponies of it, no exceptions.

34.3. If it exists, there's an app for it.

34.4. If it exists, there is a YouTube Poop of it

34.4x2 If it exists, there is a Lego of it.

34.5. If it isn't in Minecraft, there is a crafting idea video of it.

34∞. Eventually,EVERYTHING will be porn.

35. If no porn is found of it, it will be made.

35.2. If no pony is found of it, it will be made.

35.3. If there is no app for it, it will be made.

35.4. If no poop is found, it will be pooped.

35.4x2 If there is no Lego of it, then make one.

35.5. If it is in Minecraft, the crafting idea video will be shoved into the farthest corners of YouTube.

36. There will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw.

36.2. If there is porn of it, keplin has watched it. No exceptions.

37. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so).

37.2. Xero Chance can divide by Zero.

37.3. Pinkie Pie can divide by zero. She can break the 4th wall as canon. What can't she do?

38. No real limits of any kind apply here — not even the sky.

39. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.

40. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER.

41. Needs moar Desu. No exceptions.

41.2. Scroll down.

41.3. ALL THE WAY.

42. Nothing is Sacred.

43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.

44. Trying to edit the rules of the Internet with Japanese characters is like trying to make "2 girls, 1 cup" acceptable in society. It only works at A-con.

45. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car.

46. There is furry porn of it. No exceptions.

47. The pool is always closed due to AIDS (and stingrays, which also have AIDS).

47.2. YOU DUN GOOF'D!

47.3. THE CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!

48. A cat is fine too.

49. One cat leads to another.

50. Another cat leads to Zippo Cat.

51. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. No exceptions.

52. It is delicious cake. You must eat it.

53. It is delicious trap. You must hit it.

54. /b/ sucks today.

54.2. And today.

55. If you have time to make up new rules, you have no life.

55.2. Except for me.

56. They will not bring back Snacks.

57. You will never have sex.

58. Desu isn't funny. Seriously guys. It's worse than Chuck Norris jokes.

58.2. Scroll down dammit.

58.3. ALL THE WAY YOU FUCKER.

59. No one does it like Gaston. No exceptions.

60. It needs more pumpkin. No exceptions.

60.1. What pumpkin?

60.2. It doesn't matter as long as you give him the butter.

61. It needs moar cowbell. No exceptions.

62. It has been cracked and pirated. No exceptions.

63. For every male character there is a female version. No Exceptions.

63.2. For every female character there is a male version. No Exceptions.

63.3. For every asexual character there is a version for each sex. No Exceptions.

63.4. Rules 63, 63.2 and 63.3 does not include real people. (Too much work. No Exceptions.)

63.5. Real people are ruled unworthy.

63.6. Rules 63.4 and 63.5 are lies. Real people can and will be gender-bent. No exceptions.

64. Don't copy that floppy.

65. Anonymous is not your personal army.

66. The cake is a lie.

66.2. The lie is a cake.

66.3. The cock is a lie.

66.4. The lie is a cock.

66.5. The cake is a liar.

66.6. THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST!

66.7. Iron Maiden is awesome. No exceptions.

67. Anonymous does not "buy", he downloads.

68. Milhouse will never be a meme. Ever. No matter what your post ends with. No exceptions. Ever. No.

68.2. However, "Milhouse is not a meme" is a meme.

68.3. It is undecided whether ' "Milhouse is not a meme" is a meme' is a meme or not.

68.4. Refer to rule 899899

69. LOL SIXTY NINE AMIRITE?

69.1. And on the 69th day, God said "Let there be porn," And it was good.

70. Do not talk about the 100M GET failure.

71. The internet is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.

72. Darth Vader is your father. No exceptions.

73. If there isn't enough just ask for Moar.

74. If you post it, they will cum.

75. Rule 75 is a lie. OH SHI-

76. Twinkies are the answers to life's problems.

76.1. Unfortunately, there are no more twinkies, so you're fucked.

77. The internet makes you stupid.

78. It will always need moar sauce.

79. Ceilingcat IS watching you masturbate.

80. Interwebz177 did it. No exceptions.

81. Anonymous is a virgin by default.

82. Nobody tells the truth on the Internet

83. Only clusterfucks start Edit Wars.

83.2. Only fusterclucks edit Star Wars.

84. All rules ARE true, including this one.

85. Retarded rules are forbidden.

86. The term "sage" does not refer to the spice.

      Intermission

87. If you get pepperoni ever again, I swear I'll blow this joint sky-high!

87.2 But you know I only like pepperoni!

87.3. Cheese pizza is the best pizza. No exceptions.

88. Anonymous rules the internet. No exceptions.

89. Bruce Lee was a hero to us all.

90. It's never lupus.

91. There is gay porn of it, no exceptions.

92. Chuck Norris is the exception to rule 91. No exceptions.

93.2. This is not rule 93. This is rule 93.2., and rule 93 is not here.

93.3. Rule 899 is rule 93. (This is not)

93.4. Fagicorn deleted the real rule 93. Crap to him.

94. This is rule 94. It was definitely not deleted by SOPA.

95. Anonymous did NOT, under any circumstances, tk him 2da bar?

96. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.

97. The government, The CIA, Everything is a lie.

98. Only Zippocat is truth.

99. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND.

100. Faggotry will not be tolerated.

101. You are never THE BEST at anything, deal with it.

102. You are made of fail and AIDS.

103. That's no such thing as safe sex

104. The internet is for porn.

105. Rule 71 is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.

106. Rule 109 is true.

107. "That's what she said" jokes are stupid. No Exceptions

107.1. That's no she...

108. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!

108.2. ABOUT HIM!!!!

108.3. OMG!!!!!!!!!!

108.4. I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

108.5. You can never get too many exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Omigod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No Exceptions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

109. Rule 106 is false.

110. If your statement is preceded by "HAY GUYZ", then you're doing something wrong.

111. If you cannot understand it, it is machine code.

112. What you click isn't always what you get.

113. Gamestop does NOT have Battletoads (or N64 games). But ask anyway.

114. Secure tripcodes are for fags.

115. If someone herd u liek Mudkipz, deny it constantly for the lulz.

115.2. I herd you liek Mudkipz. No exceptions.

116. Combo breakers are inevitable. If the combo is completed successfully, it is gay.

117. Always go out of your way to make newbies feel uncomfortable.

118. Newfags must be tortured to death. No exceptions.

119. Only newfags like caturday, Bruce Lee, and Desu. Those who like any of those refer to rule 93.

120. Nobody likes you.

120.2. Except Pedobear (see also: rule 93)

121. Co$ is the sworn enemy of Anonymous. It must be stopped.

122. There is NO God here (Except Chuck Norris).

122.2. Celestia is greater than Chuck Norris.

122.3. Luna is greater than Celestia.

122.4. Lauren Faust is Greater Then ALL! No exceptions.

123. 456789

124. When Anonymous is surprised, bricks must be shat.

124.2. There is an error in rule 124.

125. If you have no bricks to shit, you are made of fail and AIDS.

126. shaMTV must give Rick his award. No exceptions.

127. No NewFaggots aloud.

127.2. ALLOWED, YOU FAGGOT, NOT ALOUD.

128. Everything you know is a lie, but all those lies are nothing. So by using the transitive property we can conclude that everything = nothing and if you add an integer (x) into the equation we can single anything out and turn it into a certain amount of nothing explained by this graph e = everything n = nothing

  |          _
  |      ___/ \
e | ____/      \
  |/            \
  |______________\________________
           
               n

As you can see, at a certain point of everything, nothing cannot exist. So in conclusion, I have no idea what I'm talking about. See Rule 93.

129. BOTS will be dismantled.

130. Internet = Very Scary

131. Whatever it is, pie is involved in some form. No exceptions.

132. If it can't be killed, it doesn't exist. (Except Chuck Norris) No other exceptions.

133. If you met your girlfriend/boyfriend online then you are dating a one armed lady hooker named Steve.(Unless there is webcam involved, then his name is John.)

134. If it talks, you must shut it up.

135. Myspace is for thirteen year old girls and people who fit the description of Rule # 133.

135.1. But I thought there were no girls on the Internet!

135.2. MySpace was, is, and will never be part of the Internet. No exceptions.

136. _uck _ou_self __ solve it.

137. Tuck yourself in. Is the answer.

138. Rule 139 does/will not exist.

The Lazah hit it, so It's gone now.

140. XKCD can explain everything. explain it or it goes.

141. Godmodding is retarded. Seriously just accept your death.

142. Just ignore him he will think you're afk.

143. If you ignore her, she will bitch.

144. People can't understand sarcasm.

145. If you take it seriously gtfo.

146. Stop giving the mic a blowjob.

147. Regardless, if you get pissed on teamspeak there is someone that has muted themselves just so they can laugh at you.

148. You don't get any cookies. No exceptions. So don't even ask.

148.1. 🍪

149. Brandon is God's son, making him Jesus. Chuck Norris has no son.

150. You are not going to get a handicap so don't even ask. They will just target you.

151. You will not get a free Xbox 360/Playstation 3/iPhone so don't even get your hopes up.

151.1. There are always more Pokemon. Always.

151.2. You won a brand new iPad. No exceptions.

152. They didn't call you retarded but they were thinking it.

153. It's funny to pick on people's grammar no matter how good it is. No exceptions.

154. The louder you scream at people the harder someone else will laugh.

155. They don't have hacks, you just suck really bad.

156. If you want to know who Anonymous is then GTFO!

157. Someone already did it better. No exceptions.

157.5. It was ME!

157.5.5. Rule 157.5 is Japanese.

158. It was in an episode of South Park. No exceptions.

159. The more you deny something the more they are going to say that you are "something".

160. Google ftw. No exceptions.

160.1. I Googled ftw, now what?

160.2. Lmgtfy ftw. No exceptions.

161. The guy next to you in the library is always looking at what you are saying.

162. The girl next to you in the library couldn't give a shit.

163. There's a reason- you know what? Fuck it. If you can't figure it out, you seriously need to LURK MOAR.

164. Refer to step 2 on Rule #165.

165. Refer to step 3 on Rule #93.

166. People who get depressed on the internet need a better use of time.

167. Fleshlights are the answers to life's problems. No exceptions.

168. If you pretend that you are drunk people will just think you're retarded because no one can act drunk on the internet.

169? Nah I'll have 2 69s.

170. None of us is as cruel as all of us.

171. At any given moment, more birds could join, leave, or peel off in another direction entirely.

172. Use inside jokes moar. It upsets users.

173. STFU! Before i go chris brown on you!

174. Only 4chan'rs unsuspecting victims hate Rick Astley.

175. The talk page is for spam. Don't go there.

176. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks children with the last name of Edgerton.

177. Tropicana tastes like the rainbow. No exceptions

178. Shadow sticks are fun to play with in the dark. Unless there are more than 3.

179. Refer to all unwritten rules. No exceptions.

180. For every life the internet improves it destroys 10 others.

181. Anything that's good is a virus.

182. We better start helping the earth, otherwise Al Gore will take back the internets!!! NO MORE BROADBAND! NO DIALUP!

183. If i have 3 cakes and you have one cake, only here you have no cake and I have 3 ps3's.

184. The only potty training videos allowed are ones that feature tigers and are japanese in nature (english subtitles are acceptable)

185. The Internet and Golf are quite similar they both were invented for men to get away from woman, except the internet has porn.

186. Newfags must be shot in the balls on sight. No exceptions.

187. Killing a guy is morally okay, no exceptions.

188. If none of these rules are followed/obliged to then Bruce Lee will donkey punch you to Uranus.

189. Bukkake is not cool. Never was. Never will be. EVER!!

190. The only good hentai is yuri, that's how the internet works.

191. You will always forget to add an attachment to your e-mails.

192. If you break rule 1 and 2. You will be rickroll'd in hell.

193. If you break rule 188. You will be spanked by Barack Obama.

194. If you break rule 2, Barack Obama will tickle your pubes.

194.2. If you break rule 899 or 899.2, Barack Obama will reveal his colossal dick and choke you to death with it.

195. People called Fred are just Fail. No Exceptions.

196. People named Tyler are just win. No Exceptions.

197. People named Matty are just sexy. No and I mean no Exceptions.

198. If it's not on Google, It does not exist. No Exceptions.

199. If it's not on Google, then you're searching with the wrong criteria, no exceptions

199.1. If SafeSearch is on, you are a fucking faggot, no exceptions.

200. Pictures or it didn't happen.

201. Maths in failing:

Win + Fail = Epicfail Fail + Fail = Win Win + Win = Fail Epicfail + Epicfail = Chuck Norris

202. Anontalk is a bunch of fags. No exceptions.

203. If you run out of cookies, give apples, If you run out of apples, Give Spam. No exceptions.

204. NEVER shoot anybody in the balls. No exceptions.

205. All Americans are fat. No exceptions.

206. Any breaking of pi will result in pi being broken. No one knows the consequences. You have been warned.

207. Rules 1 and 2 are false. From now on, all rules must be about /b/. Unless they aren't.

208. Rules 1, 2 and 206 are true.

209. See rule 208.

210. See rule 209.

211. srt8 must not marry MITB. No exceptions.

212. 4chan is funny. No exceptions.

213. Your mother is behind you. No exceptions, unless she isn't.

214. In case of an emergency, your emergency exit can be found in the top right corner of your screen. No, and i promise you, NO exceptions.

214.2. Except on a Mac. It's on the left.

214.3. Press Alt+F4 for an epic thing to happen.

215. Rule 213 is false. Do not click that button.

216. 3, is the magic number.... 3, is the magic number.... NO EXCEPTIONS!

216.2. 42

217. Creator of 4chan is mentally Disturbed. No exceptions.

218. Porn must only be looked at when porn is needed.

219. Google is not a calculator.

220. Longcat is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. No exceptions.

221. RETARDED NEWFAGS, should always be shot without warning NO EXCEPTIONS!

222. The game.

222.2. The game ended, wait a while before we start the next wave.

222.3. The second wave is started.

222.4. The trolls are swarming. You should probably just fold.

223. Only faggots add rules that don't go along with rule 93 no exceptions.

224. All rules above "PROFIT!" don't count. No Exceptions.

225. The Simpsons already did it. South Park already did it better. NO EXCEPTIONS

226. If a statement may be taken sexually in any way, then she already said it. No exceptions.

227. Asking Alexandria is the worst band in the world. No exceptions

228. None of these rules apply to this wiki. No exceptions.

228.2. Except the ones about newfags editing the rules

229. You never see the porn first, even if you made or drew it. No exceptions.

230. Hentai is you friend. No exceptions.

231. Except if it is on /d/. No exceptions.

232. You cannot control the person in charge. No exceptions.

233. The person in charge only wants to make your life miserable. No exceptions.

234. Rule 186 is the only exception to rule 204

235A. Edit the Rules.

235B. Lean back and wait.

235C. ???

235D. PROFIT!

236. There is no more than 1 rule for 1 number. 234 is the only exception, all others can refer to rule 93.

236.1. No.

237. There will be placeholders. No exceptions.

238. Every night when you are sleeping, Interwebz177 gives you pills that give you a boner then he sucks you dry.

239. That naked picture you took whilst drunk has never been removed from the internet, and will remain on a 50yr old man's hard drive for as long as he lives.

240. Rule 301 is false, it is occasionally Alex.

241. Everything fun on the internet is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

242. See Rule 899.

243. TNA sucks, WWE rocks.

244. WWE sucks, TNA rocks.

245. Your all both fags ROH is better than anything.

246. Pro Wrestling is gay. No exceptions.

246.2. Also, it is SERIOUS BUSINESS. No exceptions.

247. King Kong's penis was 13" long. Which isn't that long for a 50' gorilla.

247.2. The above is not a rule.

248. There has been a flame war of it. No exceptions.

249. Euskal hizkuntza dela begiratuko du lelo bat bezala.

249.2. Google Translate is shit.

250. Additional Pylons are required. Always.

251. No one uses anything but Google. No exceptions.

252. Rule 52 is a lie. Thank you.

253. Yes, it is some chickens.

254. Steve Irwin's death is really, really funny.

255. Anonymous is an Internet Hate Machine. Wikipedia said so.

255.2. Wikipedia is never wrong. Your teachers were.

256. For every curse word, there is a town with that name. No exceptions.

257. CP is awwwright, but DSFARGEG will get you b&.

258. ASDFMOVIE is god. No exception.

259. Hal Turner definitely needs to gb2/hell/.

260. No matter how cute it is, it probably skullfucked your mother last night.

261. Bobba bobba is bobba.

262. Yes, it is still some chickens.

263. Disregard Bigmike, he sucks cocks.

264. Spengbab Sqarpaint is luv Padtwick Zhstar iz fwend.

265. Anonymous still owes Hal Turner one trillion U.S. dollars.

266. Pokémon yuri is awesome, especially Elesa/Skyla.

267. Why are so many rules not written yet?

268. BECAUSE RACE CAR.

0x10c. This game will be epic, but not as good as the best game of all time evar on the internets... - Minecraft.

269. Yeah, finally...2 69's!

269.1. To 69 or not to 69? Did she take a shower? That is the question.

270. If you do not believe it, then it must be habeebed for great justice.

271. 299 is a lie. This is sparta. No exceptions.

272. This is the end of the world, no exceptions.

273. 301 is a lie. The end is the beginning. No exceptions.

274. Not even Spider-Man knows how to shoot web.

275. By extension to rule 301, it is never a job offer.

276. One does not simply shoop da whoop into Mordor.

277. Newfags will rape you so hard that Micheal Jackson will feel it in hell. No exceptions.

278. If a song gets famous, there will be a slowed-down acoustic cover by a female singer-songwriter.

279. Mitchell Henderson was an hero to us all.

280. This is a showdown, a throwdown, hell no I can't slow down, it's gonna go.

281. I am copying directly from the UrbanDictionary definition of the Rules of the Internet.

282. If you express astonishment at someone's claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.

283. That's not mud.

284. What has been seen cannot be unseen. Even the post clearance that's coming up.

285. 5pam

286. 5pam

287. 5pam

288. 5pam

288.2. 4pam

288.3. 3pam

288.4. 2pam

288.5. 1pam

288.6. Liftoffpam

289. Shit sucks and will never be stickied.

290. UrbanDictionary's entry is out of date.

291. 5pam 5ome MOAR

292. There are no real rules about moderation — enjoy your ban.

293. There should be a hand in it somehow.

293.2. See 108.

294. Everything has been searched on the internet.

295. Box dividers are gay.

296. Twitter is pointless.

297. GentleMentleMen will never retain its original audio.

298. Any BEATMANIA song will be made into a meme.

299. This is madness. No exceptions.

300. No, This Is SPARTA!