MisterKaos

TWILIGHT SHOWS HER WAR FACE  Context

Let me see yer war face private!
Arrrrrgh!
Angrier!
Raaaaargh!
LOUDER!

JOHN-
-CEEEENAAAAAA!



SPYRO IS TEMPTED BY THE DARK SIDE Click for Context

Join the dark side, we've got beer!
Hmm....sounds good....but do you have pizza and weed?
......
Didn't think so!
Darnit! So close!


PLAYING FAVORITES IS A MAJOR LIABILITY Click for Context

What better subject to practice mask shading on than my all-time favorite dragon?!

Hmmph...I thought I was his favorite dragon!
Pffft! Bitch, I've been around for over 20 years. You ain't even been around for 5!
So how's the whole Skylanders thing working for ya?
What did you say, you little bastard?!
....
You wanna know what Skylanders did to me?!
...I take it back...
Bend over. I'ma show ya what it did!
Oh shit! I'm so sorry....I didn't mean to-
YAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAWEEEEEE!!!!

*20 minutes later*

Any more questions?
Nope...I'm good...


HOW CELESTIA'S CAKE ADDICTION REALLY STARTED Click for Context

How come she didn't have to do timeout on the moon like me?!
Excuse me, but she wasn't the one who shot me out of the sky and caused my cake addiction!
Don't try to pin your eating disorder on me, sister! Discord left those pot brownies in the fridge, not me!
No Luna. Those were Starswirl's brownies, for his aching joints. Don't drag me into this, sweetheart!
How was I supposed to know those were pot brownies?! It's not like they were labeled or anything!
I suppose you could ask before taking somepony else's cake....like the rest of us civilized ponies!
Seriously tho...we always ask you before taking a slice of cake out of the fridge!
That does it...I'm getting my own personal fridge!


SPIKE'S NEW ROOM COMES WITH BENEFITS! Click for Context

I can't believe I got my own room, just so Twilight and Celestia can do their thing!
Actually, Twilight and my sister had nothing to do with it. It was my idea!
And I helped!
Wait...what...okay, what did you two do to my room?!
Oh, nothing...much...just a few....upgrades!
A little thank you gift for saving the Crystal Empire!

*she points to an ordinary looking picture frame hanging on the wall*

Umm...thanks?
No need to thank me. Thanks to you, I've got my own palace!

*she moves the picture frame to reveal a hidden peephole looking into the adjacent room, which just happens to be Twilight's room*

Oh....I see what you did there...
Happy clopping....or fapping, in your case!
So...princess...got any more kindoms in need of...heh heh...rescuing?!
You could always rescue one for me. I'll make it worth your while...
Um...sure...I'll...get right on that!
Now...about my gift...It seems you've been having a lot of wet dreams about Rarity....
Wait...wha...how many of my dreams have you seen?!
Anyhoo, I may have "accidentally" given Rarity a few wet dreams...involving you!
Oh really?! Did you make me....convincing?!
Very!!!
You really think she and I will finally get it on...for real?!
Oh don't you fret, Spikey dear...I'll see to it....personally!
I just want to let you know that you two are my favorite princesses!
Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me!
Just make sure you get it all on tape!

TWILIGHT KNOWS WHERE DAT FINE BOOTY AT ° ͜ʖ ͡°) !  Click for Context

Ummm...Twilight, why are you hugging my butt?
Cuz guuuurl, dat booty fine! ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
That is...
...actually true! Dat booty is fine!

Butt hug. Fart.


T'would be nice~ :3

ALICORN FARTS ARE MAGIC 

And that, Twilight, is where magic comes from!
I didn't realise magic smelled like stale cake and rotten bananas!
Not all magic. Sometimes it smells like burnt marshmallows and rancid milk.....chocolate milk, that is!
Does all magic smell like nasty farts?!
That depends....do you like the smell of Dorito gas?!
Will it improve my quickscoping abilities?
Yes, but it involves T-bagging!
Looks like I'm skipping lunch today!

Grievous Fan recently posted a journal entry about her creative process....So I decided to describe mine:


  Get high
Wait...what was I doing again?
  Order a pizza
  *Blurp!*
Nap time
4 hours later...
Wake n' Bake!  LOL
I should do a doodle...but first.....
  Order another pizza
  *Blurp!*
  Do a doodle
  Artist's block
Better get high again...
  Order another pizza
  Indigestion
  Constipation
One bottle of Pepto and 12 ExLax's later.....
Ahhhhh....
  More doodling
All finished.....this calls for a celebration!
12 bowls later
Duuuuuuuuude.....

FULL CIRCLE

I'm so confused right now....
Hey Soarin' care to join us next weekend for a 3-way?!
....
Psst...say yes, Soarin!
Errr...Maybe?!
Wait a minute...I don't remember agreeing to a 3some ever...
Ah'm pretty darn sure we talked about this last night, sugarcube!
Did I just agree to be part of a 3some?!
Captain's orders.  You are going to that 3some, otherwise you can kiss your spot on the team goodbye!
Say Cap'n...Dashie here tells me you're quite skilled....
Awww....did she really?!  Well thank you Rainbow Dash...you aren't so bad yourself!
Wait...what...you and Dash?...
....full circle?!
So it's settled then....4some this weekend at mah place...same time, same rules!
Excellent!  I'll bring the beer if you bring the bud!
Mmm...'bout that...mah brother Big Mac's the one who grow the bud...so he might want in on the action too!
Big Mac too?!
Girl, you had me at BIG!  Is dark ale alright with you?
Y'all know it is, sugarcube!
2


SPIKE SEES SOME SHIT...AND THEN DOES SOME SHIT

Hey Twilight, have you seen the......hand...lotion..?
Err...no....maybe..?!
.....
...Oops....sorry?

A few minutes later...

You know what....fuck this shit....I'm gettin' high....
But...
Ah ah ah....it sure would be a shame if Celestia got word of this....
So Ms. Sparkle...word has it you like bananas.....


THEM BUSHES!

Hey Dashie....y'all smell them bushes behind the barn?!
What are you talking about AJ?  I don't smell anythi-*sniff**sniff**sniiiiiiiiff!*
Awwwwww Shiiiiiiit nigga!
Aint that the best damn shit y'all ever smelled, sugarcube?!
Please tell me you've got one rolled!
Fuck yeeeeeah mah nigga!
*click*






SOARINDASH FOREPLAY

Dammit Dashie, you gave me a wingboner.....and you know what happens when I get a wingboner....
Wait...what....
Ooohoooo! I see what happened there!!!! We need to hide that thing before somepony....notices....
Know of any good hiding places close by?!
Yeah....two actually.....take your pick!



SPITFIRE, WE NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING...

Uh...Spitfire....We kinda have to tell you something
Don't tell me you two screwed up the dizzitron...I need not tell you how expensive that thing is!
Errr....yeah...that's what happened....right Soarin?!
No!  Actually, I've been buckin' Dashie for a few months....and now she's pregnant!

I knew it!

She's only been here 4 months and you've already got her pregnant?!

DAYUM!That's a new academy record!  Nice one, Soarin!
Heh heh...Alright!



COME HERE, DASHIE!

Come here, Dashie! We've got some cloud-bucking to do......
Umm.....yeah....better do some warm-up stretches first...
Just get your damn baby blue plothole over here, Skittlebrains!
....
10 minutes later......
DAYUM! You really are the fastest in all of Equestria!
No....k-kidding!

RISE N' SHINE, GILDA

Rise n' shine, sleepyhead!

Oh good!  I like it better when you're mad.....



....and then....rape happened!


APPLEDASH





Is our sister doin' what ah think she's doin with Rainbow Dash?!
Eeyup!

SOARIN BANGS DASHIE HARD

Now show me what you've got, you damn sexy stallion you!
Prepare your baby blue flank, Dashie, cuz I'm going in hard!
Ohmygosh Ohmygosh Ohmygosh!
Wait for it.....
I'm ready for it!
Waaaaaait...for...it....
OH....
HNNNNNNGNAH!
OH...MY...GAAAAAAAAAAAWSH!
_____________________20 minutes later___________________
*pant*So.....*pant*....how'd I do?!
Oh......Daaaaaaayum!


SOARIN BANGS DASHIE HARD [yet again]

Yesss...now's my chance!


Oh shit! I know that look..
Let me help you with that, Dashie!

Just need to take this suit off real quick....
HOLY SHIT, IT'S HUGE!
Needs a little thrust is all....ready?!
Wait! Soarin, please don't.....AAAAAAAAAH!
NNNNNGH!


DASHIE COMES

DAMMIT!  I'M GONNA COME SO HARD,  Y'ALLS GONNA SEE SOME SONIC RAINBOOMS!
Oh shit...
Oh yes!  She's really gonna blow this time, isn't she?!

Everypony...RUUUUUUUUUN!

5 minutes later......
Dear Celestia...it's...everywhere....
Oooooh!  It's all rainbow-colored and pretty!
I came!


EVERYPONY DANCE NOW!




NICE HAT, DASH!

Hey Twi, check out this cool little hat I found!
Not now Dash; I'm busy looking for my...PANTIES!
Your what now?!
Hey Twilight, have you seen the....


What?  Why are you both looking at me like that?!
Oh hey, Rainbow Dash....er...nice hat you got there! 
That isn't a hat, Dash.  Now give me back my panties!
Sheesh!  Why are you making such a big deal about this?
Probably because it's been on her ass!
SPIIIIIKE!




SPIKE GETS LAYED

Hey...uh...Rarity. Do ya mind if I spend the night over here? Twilight is...uh...busy!
Oh Spikey Wikey, darling! You came for me!
Umm...Rarity...have you been drinking?
Oh Spike! Make love to me!
Wait...what?!
NOW DAMMIT!
Oh shit!


AAAAAH!!!
NNNNNNG!
OH!!!!
NNNNNNYAH!

...a few minutes later....
*MMPH**NNG**OOF*
Oh...Spike....
Oh...Rarity!
...12 hours later....

Hey Rarity, have you seen...



SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!!!


SPIKED PUNCH

How 'bout some more punch, Rarity?!
Well...I am a bit thirsty.....you sure this stuff isn't...you know...spiked? I feel kinda weird....
Spiked? Oh no...of course not!
5 minutes later....
Oh my, I feel so dizzy. I think I'm going to lie down and......
Heh heh....Alright!


ORGY FACES

 



 

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This list is sure to grow as I encounter more of these bastards.  Each troll is ranked according to their degree of "malice."
_{(Two trollheads or fewer: just annoying assholes who want to have the last word no matter what.)
(Three trollheads or more: career trolls with nothing better to do with their pathetic little lives.  BLOCK THEM NOW!)
(Zoidberg's presence indicates butthurtness)(Gun to the head and crossed out name means the account is dead!)}
Let's list them out, shall we?!


ChaoticNote--*white person voice* "Racist!"
Adaphion-Kaparose--Semantic Asshole
FiretrontheHedgehog--The butthurt is strong with this one!
troll-overlord--The butthurt is strong with this one!narc
jamesk-sonicfan--BUTTHURT!
punkrocksavedmylife--
Deceptihog001--BUTTHURT!
KINGRIEVOUS--
LPSzoe--EXTREME BUTTHURT!
MaryPonyArtist--EXTREME BUTTHURT!